We have many selves. Some are loud and in our head most often and others are subdued and quiet and you may not even know they are there if your other selves are extremely loud.
These selves were born out of survival of our early upbringing. They are called ‘survival personalities’ and the term was created by Robert Assagioli, an Italian Psychiatrist in the 1900’s who founded Psychosynthesis, a spiritually oriented therapeutic system. This modality is very similar to Radical Forgiveness.
Assagioli showed us that we don’t have just one self but several of them, we can also call them our inner children. These different selves were created to manage our wounds or deficiencies from childhood, our injured sense of selves that we lost along the way.
Assagioli indicates that in order to quiet these various selves we must make an empathetic connection to each of them. They are lost parts of us that are waiting to be heard, understood and accepted.
Denying them only intensifies the patterns in our life, so know, when you are triggered by someone or something it’s a clear indication there is some inner work to be done. We regress back to that lost self who is crying out for it to be heard and it becomes a pattern in our life we will keep repeating until we have acknowledged it, heard it and accepted it as part of who we are.
In the book, Radical Self-Forgiveness, Colin Tipping focuses on the three human selves that hold the key to self-forgiveness. They are our judging self, the critical parent and our self-loving self.
Our judging self is the loudest and most persistent. We hear how wrong we always are and feel guilt regardless if we are guilty or not.
Our critical parent self is not as persistent but it’s depreciating, we are treated like a little kid being scolded and love is withheld as the punishment for the perceived offence. This self is damaging to our self-esteem as it pours on the shame.
Listening to these selves can become major patterns running in our life that are going to intensify the feelings of guilt and shame. (the lowest vibrating feelings we have)
Our self-loving self, or our inner lover, is the quiet one, these other two selves are way too loud to allow us to hear our inner lover much of the time. You may not even know you have an inner lover but you do!
This part of your human self lives in your heart and loves you no matter what. It’s forgiving of your faults and shortcomings, even the big ones. It’s empathetic and compassionate to you and your feelings. It knows all parts of you, your loves, joys, dreams, fears, disappointments etc.
It is like a mediator of your various selves, it can pull them all together in support of your true emotional character. But it’s not that easy because the judge and the critic very seldom listen and their motive is to make us wrong. How can we forgive ourselves if we are wrong?
We have to get radical!
With Radical Self-Forgiveness we are not asking any of these selves just mentioned to forgive us, we are appealing to our I Am Self, our Higher Self. This self is not part of our human selves, it’s our spiritual self that exists above all others yet we are least aware of this self unless we have opened up to it with practice.
This self knows the truth of who we are, that we are all connected, what the purpose of why we are here really is; it’s in the spiritual realm where only love exists.
Our I Am self knows that in the spiritual realm there is no right or wrong, good or bad. It simply observes and loves us unconditionally. No judgement, no criticism, just compassion, empathy and love.
Our I Am self sends us guidance through our own psyche. Our sixth sense, our intuition. We all have it, it’s just more developed in some people.
When we connect with our intuition we get the messages we need to hear. It’s subtle so we have to practice paying attention.
We can also call it our Spiritual Intelligence. We can receive this guidance in the form of physical feelings, intuitive knowing, dreams and other subtle messages.
Our intuition or Higher Self is our best guide. Do you want to learn how to have a better connection with your intuition?
- Start meditating, even if it’s 10 minutes a day. (Click here for tips on how to meditate)
- Write your thoughts and feelings daily in a journal.
- Practice being present in the moment, work towards not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
- Pray, ask for guidance from God, Spirit, your Guides, Angels, they will always answer you.
It’s all working according to a divine plan so surrender to the ride and be the observer in your life. Try these and see where they lead you. You might be surprised.
Do you like this? Make sure you read my next blog!
I will be sharing an interview with Angel Morgan of Raising Energy on how to increase your intuition. Angel is a renowned psychic, animal communicator and media personality, who is also my friend, and she graciously agreed to share her best tips with me to share with all of you.
Watch for this interview in the next few weeks and until then, be the observer in your life, notice your repeating patterns, and love an accept yourself, flaws and all! Awareness is the first step and doing the above will increase your awareness.