When I meet people and I tell them what I do I get different responses back, but a few stand out to me that are common.
Why would I want to forgive? It’s in my past. Why would I want to bring that up again? I’m over it. It doesn’t bother me anymore.
OR… I’m not ready to forgive.
I had these exact thoughts when I met a Forgiveness Coach a few years back. Especially ‘I’m not ready to forgive’.
Many people don’t feel ready to forgive for a few reasons. They don’t want to re-live the pain of their past, it’s easier to leave it where it is. Radical Forgiveness doesn’t require you to dig up your past.
They don’t want to bring up old emotions; they actually don’t even think it bothers them because it’s buried so deep in their DNA they don’t realize it’s still there in their body deep down. (I experienced this.) Radical Forgiveness helps you feel your feelings and love and accept yourself for having them so you can release them. This is imperative to the process and relieves a lot of guilt and pain in itself.
They also don’t think the person who they have the grievance with deserves to be forgiven. That would let them off the hook and, damn it, they should be accountable for what they did! (That was my thought.) Radical Forgiveness is for YOU not the other person. When you withhold love from someone else you are also withholding it from yourself. It cannot be separated as much as we might try to.
Another big reason people avoid forgiving is that it’s their identity. The longer you have a victim story (the story where someone did something wrong to you) the more you will identify with it; and to change it would mean feeling like you won’t know who you are anymore. Radical Forgiveness helps you to connect and identify with who you really are, not the hurt, suffering you, the higher self, inner you.
Whether you like it or not, if you don’t validate and release your pent up, stuffed emotions around the issue(s) it stays inside of you.
You will notice when something comes up you might have overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness or frustration. That’s your old emotions coming up around the issue you didn’t heal. It’s inside you as a stuck energy block and will come up when you don’t expect it, frequently lashing out at someone else or at yourself internally.
It takes SO MUCH energy to hang on to our stories and on top of that many of us worry about the future which takes even more energy. If we are using a large portion of our energy holding on to these stories and potential stories we have very little left for the present moment.
This is a big contributor to depression, anxiety, low energy, a dismal outlook on life and feeling stuck and helpless. (I was feeling like this, I knew I had so much to be grateful for but I didn’t feel it.)
If you are sick of feeling stuck and unhappy and are ready for a change in your life I invite you to attend my workshop, The ‘Magic’ of Radical Forgiveness. Click here for the next one.
It’s a powerful experience thousands of people all over the world have taken part in and I am bringing it to Toronto!
This half day workshop is where you can safely forgive everyone in your life, including yourself, without having to tell your stories. You can be the victim or the perpetrator, it doesn’t matter, no one will know.
Maybe you know someone who could benefit from forgiveness? Please share this workshop with them; you may just help change someone’s life!